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Core values exercise for coaches: a ready-to-use script

Core Values Exercise for Coaches: A Ready-to-Use Script

A coach and coachee head outside together to work on an exercise around personal values.

In brief:

  • The value-card exercise is the fastest and most reliable way to discover core values in coaching. Coachees choose their top five values and test them with short actions that give direction to their behaviour. Coaches can easily facilitate the exercise with materials, structure and follow-up for lasting results.

The fastest and most reliable way to discover core values in a coaching session is the value-card exercise, also known as the card sort. You need 30–60 minutes, a set of 40–60 value cards and a coachee who is willing to look honestly. The result: a personal top 5 of core values plus a concrete test action for the week that follows.

  • What you need: printed or digital value cards, a quiet space, a timer
  • Duration: 30 minutes for a quick version, 60 minutes for full reflection
  • Result: a list of five core values, described in the coachee's own words, plus an initial micro-action to test them Values function as an inner compass: they give direction to choices and behaviour, even when goals are not yet clear. Without that connection, coachees sometimes achieve goals that feel empty in hindsight.

Table of contents

Which core values exercise suits your situation?

Three formats you can use straight away, each for a different context.

  • Value card / card sort (30–60 min, solo or duo): the coach lays out cards, the coachee sorts and prioritises them. Fast, concrete and suitable for most coaching contexts. Works well as the starting point of a coaching journey.
  • Life list / life line (45–90 min, solo or individual reflection): the coachee writes down ten to fifteen key moments from their life. Which values were visible in those moments? Which were painfully absent? Suitable for people who struggle with abstract lists and prefer to work through stories.
  • Values walk (45–60 min, outdoors, duo): based on the Bateson method, in which the coachee literally walks while reflecting out loud. Movement lowers the barrier to honest answers. Effective with coachees who show a lot of cognitive resistance or have a sedentary job.

Pro tip: Choose the walk when a coachee keeps giving "correct" answers in the first two sessions. Movement and an informal setting break that pattern faster than another round of questions.

What do you need to set up the session well?

Materials

  • 40–60 value cards (printed on A6, or digital via a tool such as Miro or a simple spreadsheet)
  • Markers for making notes on the cards
  • Timer (phone or kitchen timer)
  • Flip chart or large sheet of paper for clustering
  • Notepad for the coach: record the top 5 and the coachee's description

Location and setup

  • Preferred: a quiet room with a large table on which cards can be spread out
  • Alternative: outdoors on a bench or while walking (in which case use digital cards on a phone or tablet)
  • Online: use Miro, Mural or a shared Google Slides document with draggable cards

Participants and roles

  • Solo: the coachee works independently, the coach asks questions and takes notes
  • Duo: coach and coachee together at the table
  • Small group (max. 4): each participant sorts individually, followed by a short exchange. Each participant determines a personal top five core values.

Timetable per phase

Phase Duration
Introduction and explanation 5 minutes
Card selection (first round) 15 minutes
Clustering and combining 10 minutes
Prioritising into a top 5 of core values 10 minutes
Reflection and validation 15 minutes

Step-by-step script for the value-card exercise

You can use this script directly. The prompts are worded so that they do not steer.

  1. Introduction (5 min). Explain what core values are and what they are not. Say literally: "Core values are not goals you can tick off. They are guiding principles that determine how you want to live and work, even when it is difficult." Ask the coachee not to choose what "sounds good", but what genuinely rings true.

  2. First selection (15 min). Lay all the cards on the table or open the digital board. Ask the coachee to place each card in one of three piles: "not relevant", "somewhat relevant" and "very relevant". Give no explanation of the values themselves. Let the coachee work in silence.

  3. Clustering (10 min). Take the "very relevant" pile and ask: "Do you see cards that belong together or that essentially say the same thing to you?" Let the coachee create clusters themselves. Note the clusters without interpreting.

  4. Prioritising into a top 5 (10 min). Ask the coachee to choose from the clusters five values that are the most decisive. If they hesitate between two, ask: "If you have to make a difficult decision tomorrow and you can only lean on one of these two, which one would it be?"

  5. Reflection and validation (15 min). For each value, ask: "What does this value mean to you, in your own words?" Write down the description. Then ask: "When did you last make a choice that was truly in line with this value? And when did you not?" Close with a micro-action: "What is a small step you can take this week to act consciously in accordance with this value?"

Recording template: for each value, note down the name, the coachee's personal description and the planned micro-action. Consistently record a list of five core values per coachee for optimal follow-up. Pro tip: You can recognise socially desirable answers when a coachee chooses values that "sound good" but cannot name a personal story or concrete example. In that case, ask: "When have you really acted on this, even when it cost you something?" If the answer remains vague, the value is probably a norm, not a genuine core value.

Desk with coaching script and notes

Which alternative formats can you use?

Sometimes the card sort does not fit. Here are four compact alternatives with short instructions.

Format Duration Suitable for When more effective
Visualisation exercise 20–30 min Coachees who can abstract well Resistance to lists or cards
Tree metaphor 30–45 min Visually oriented coachees Emotionally charged themes
Life list 45–60 min Narratively oriented coachees Difficulty with abstract value terms
Values walk (Bateson) 45–60 min Coachees with cognitive resistance Highly emotional or stuck situations
  • Visualisation: ask the coachee to close their eyes and imagine a moment when they felt entirely themselves. Have them describe that moment. Then ask: "Which words describe what felt right for you in that moment?" Those words are value candidates.
  • Tree metaphor: the coachee draws a tree. The roots are the deepest motivations, the trunk is what they carry out daily, the branches are the areas they invest energy in. Afterwards, discuss which values are visible in each part.
  • Life list: the coachee writes down ten key moments, both positive and negative. For each moment, you ask: "What was at stake for you here?" and "Which value was honoured or violated here?"
  • Values walk: walk alongside the coachee and ask an open question every five minutes. NLP elicitation techniques such as upchunking ("What is even more important to you than that?") help you move from concrete preferences to deeper values.

Which questions help you truly deepen values?

Good reflection prompts make the difference between a superficial list and genuine self-knowledge. Use them in phases: the first half during the initial exploration, the second half during deeper validation.

Initial exploration:

  • What do you consider truly important in life for yourself, regardless of what others expect?
  • Where do you want to spend more time and energy?
  • Which value can you not imagine your life without?
  • When did you feel most yourself? What made it so?
  • What do you stand for, even when it costs you something?

Deeper validation:

  • What does this value mean to you, in your own words?
  • What does your life look like if you base your choices entirely on this value?
  • What is the downside of this value? When does it work against you?
  • If you indicate on a scale of 1 to 10 how strongly you currently live by this value, what number would you give? What would it take to move one point higher?
  • When did you last make a decision that went against this value? How did that affect you?

Detecting inconsistency and social desirability:

  • Behaviour under pressure reveals more about genuine values than stated preferences. Ask: "How do you behave when you are busy and have to choose something? Which value wins then?"
  • Ask about a moment when two values clashed: "What did you choose then? What does that say about which value weighs more heavily?"
  • If a coachee cannot illustrate a value with a concrete example, it is probably a norm or an ideal image, not a core value.

What do you do with the core values you find?

Insight without follow-up evaporates. Here is a concrete plan for the steps after the exercise.

  1. Validate the authenticity. Ask the coachee to carry the top 5 with them for a week and note when a value was visible in their behaviour, and when it was not. Discuss this in the next session.

  2. Link values to goals. A value is not a goal. "Freedom" is a value; "working as a self-employed professional within two years" is a goal that stems from that value. Make this distinction explicit, because coachees regularly confuse them.

  3. Design micro-actions. Without translation into concrete behaviour, values remain abstract. Have the coachee come up with a small weekly action for each of the five chosen core values: something they consciously do or refrain from doing in order to test the value.

  4. Set up a follow-up template. For each of the five values, note: name, personal description, planned action, observation after a week. Discuss this in the next session as a starting point.

  5. Recalibrate periodically. Values change with life stage and context. A list of five core values now is not for ever. Advise coachees to repeat the exercise annually or after a major life event.

In addition:

  • Use values as a touchstone in decisions: "Which option best aligns with my top 3 values?"
  • Link values to goal tracking in your coaching programme so that progress remains visible
  • Notice when a coachee consistently acts against a stated value: that is a breakthrough moment

How do you facilitate the exercise well as a coach?

What you say and what you leave out

Begin the session with a safety frame: "There are no right or wrong answers. I am not looking for what you should think, but for what genuinely rings true for you." Repeat this if a coachee hesitates or looks to you for confirmation.

Allow silence. Many coaches fill silence too quickly with a new question. Give the coachee 10–15 seconds after a reflection question. In the SKM (Self-Confrontation Method) the coachee's input is maximal and the coach's interpretation minimal. That principle applies here too.

Red flags and blockages

  • Coachee chooses too quickly: they run through the cards without feeling. Slow things down: "Put this card down for a moment and say out loud what the word evokes in you."
  • Coachee cannot choose: too many values feel "all important". Use the comparison question: "If you can only take one of these two with you tomorrow, which one is it?"
  • Emotional breakthrough: a coachee becomes emotional at a particular value. Allow this, name it calmly: "I can see this touches something. Would you like to pause here for a moment?" Do not continue with the exercise until the coachee indicates they are ready.

Adaptations for online sessions

  • Use Miro or a shared Google Slides document with draggable cards
  • Send the value list 24 hours in advance so the coachee can reflect
  • Plan a shorter session (45 min) and send the reflection questions afterwards as an assignment via the coachee portal

Pro tip: In online sessions, coachees miss the physical act of sorting cards. Ask them to read the cards out loud before moving them. That small action activates the same reflective process as physically holding a card.

Why do these exercises work? A brief rationale

Core values exercises are not stand-alone activities. They are based on a number of well-founded principles from coaching practice.

Values make the "why" behind behaviour visible. When daily actions and goals are not connected to deeper values, coachees can experience fatigue or emptiness, even after achieving successes. Reconnecting with values helps to restore motivation and direction. (ICM / NONONS)

The Self-Confrontation Method (SKM) offers a protocol-based approach: from formulating value areas to affective valuations and validation periods. That layered structure makes SKM suitable for complex cases where many latent meanings are at play. For most coaching contexts, the card sort is a more accessible starting point that respects the same principle of self-directed work.

Experts emphasise the cyclical nature of values work: validation in practice, by deliberately seeking out situations that test a value, is the only way to verify authenticity. A list is a hypothesis. Behaviour is the proof.

A coach and a client discuss together what matters to them, during a session in the practice room.

The link with burnout prevention at work is also relevant for coaches who work with organisations: employees who act in conflict with their core values are at an increased risk of exhaustion.

List of common core values and printing instructions

Alphabetical value list by category

Relationships and connection Commitment, collegiality, empathy, equality, harmony, intimacy, loyalty, sincerity, collaboration, tolerance, friendship, caring

Growth and development Adventure, creativity, knowledge, learning, curiosity, entrepreneurship, personal growth, challenge, wisdom, self-development, self-knowledge

Integrity and character Modesty, discipline, authenticity, honesty, integrity, independence, open-mindedness, openness, justice, responsibility

Well-being and balance Simplicity, health, inner peace, relaxation, enjoyment, beauty, spirituality, freedom, security, meaning

Achievement and impact Decisiveness, sustainability, effectiveness, efficiency, accuracy, achievement orientation, success, dedication

Printing instructions

  • Print the cards on A6 format (148 x 105 mm), preferably on 200 gsm paper so they feel sturdy
  • Laminate for reuse, or print on coloured paper per category for visual overview
  • Digital alternative: copy the list into Miro or a Google Slides deck with one card per slide

Cultural note: values such as "harmony" or "modesty" are given different weight in some cultural contexts than in a Dutch setting. Always ask about the personal meaning, never about the definition.

Key insights

The most reliable way to discover core values in coaching is the value-card exercise: concrete, ready to use and closed off with a test action that verifies authenticity.

Point Details
Values are a compass, not a goal A value gives direction; a goal is finite. Make this distinction explicit in every session.
Test authenticity through behaviour Ask about behaviour under pressure, not about preferences. Genuine values are visible when they cost something.
Use the facilitator script Work with fixed prompts and timings so the session runs in a structured way and results are comparable.
Recalibrate periodically Values change with life stage. Advise coachees to repeat the exercise annually or after a major life event.
Exantur for follow-up Record a top five core values, descriptions and micro-actions per coachee in Exantur so that follow-up and progress remain visible between sessions.

Why the simplest exercise is often the most powerful

There is a tendency in the coaching world to confuse complexity with depth. Coaches learn elaborate methods, read about SKM protocols and Bateson levels, and then still sit down with a coachee who simply does not know what they want. The card sort works precisely because it is so accessible. You ask someone to sort cards, not to analyse themselves. That difference in framing makes all the difference.

What I see in practice: coachees who get stuck on abstract questions ("What are your values?") start talking the moment they hold a card. The physical object gives them something to hold on to. The silence that follows, as someone turns over a card, is often more valuable than ten minutes of conversation.

The moment an exercise really takes effect is not during the session. It is three days later, when a coachee makes a decision and thinks: "This does not match what I wrote down." That is when a value becomes a compass instead of a list.

Exantur helps you keep follow-up organised

After a values exercise you have valuable information: a top 5, personal descriptions, micro-actions. That information deserves a fixed place, not a stray note you dig up in the third session.

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Exantur is coaching practice software with which you keep session notes, goals and check-ins between sessions tracked in a structured way. You record the top 5 core values as session documentation, link goals to them and follow how the micro-actions are progressing via the coachee portal. Coachees see their own progress and can complete check-ins without you having to send an email every time. If you want to use the exercise right away, you'll find the core values exercise as a ready-to-use tool.

All data is stored on EU servers in Frankfurt. Exantur supports coaches in GDPR-conscious data processing, although using software does not automatically make a practice fully GDPR-compliant. For coaches who take confidentiality seriously, that is a relevant choice.

Take a look at the practice management software or start a free 14-day trial via exantur.com.

Recommended sources and further reading

  • NONONS: Taking charge starts with knowing what matters to you — Practical explanation of values as a compass; a good starting point for coaches who want to explain the concept to coachees.
  • ICM: Working with values in coaching — Overview of how to make coachees aware of their values; useful for the link with burnout prevention.
  • NLP Institute: Finding core values as a coach — Concrete elicitation techniques such as upchunking and ranking; further depth for coaches who want to integrate NLP methods.
  • BPO Opleidingen: Coaching from values — Emphasis on translation into behaviour; read this if you want to understand why follow-up is indispensable.
  • NCGN: SKM methodology (SPEC-ZKM-2015) — Protocol-based approach for complex cases; suitable for coaches who want to work more deeply with value areas and affective valuations.
  • Ayo Senang: Determining personal values — Practical advice on the right list length and on periodically recalibrating values.
  • Mentaal Onderhoud: Practical coaching exercise on core values — Extensive self-study exercise with reflection questions; usable as a homework assignment for coachees.
  • Exantur: Session notes for coaches — Practical guidance for systematically recording observations, insights and action points after a values exercise.

Frequently asked questions

What are core values in coaching?

Core values are the deepest motivations that determine how someone wants to live and work. In coaching they act as a compass when setting goals and making decisions.

How many core values should someone have?

A top 5 of core values is the most workable. Fewer than three provides too little direction; more than five dilutes the focus and makes prioritising harder. Coaches therefore advise a list of five core values as the optimal outcome of the exercise.

How do you distinguish a genuine core value from a norm or ideal image?

Ask about concrete behaviour: when has the coachee acted on this value, even when it came at a cost? If they cannot name an example, it is probably a norm or a socially desirable choice.

What are commonly cited core values?

Commonly cited core values are honesty, freedom, responsibility, creativity, loyalty, collaboration, growth and inner peace. A personal list of five core values is the standard outcome; which values someone chooses is always personal.

How do you use core values after the exercise?

Link each value to a concrete micro-action for the coming week and discuss the experiences in the next session. This way, values do not become a list but a guideline for daily behaviour.

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