Core Values Exercise for Coaches: Ready-to-Use Script
Core Values Exercise for Coaches: Ready-to-Use Script
The fastest and most reliable way to identify core values in a coaching session is the value card exercise, also known as a card sort. You need 30 to 60 minutes for it, and the result is concrete: a top five of personal core values plus an initial test action the coachee carries out that same week. No long questionnaires, no abstract conversations. Cards, hands, choices.
What makes this approach so effective? Values are not a cognitive construct that you list off. They live in the feeling that comes up when you hold a card and say it out loud. The physical act of sorting forces genuine prioritization, something a conversation rarely achieves. Values function as an inner compass: without that connection, people lose their direction, achieve goals that feel empty, or get stuck in choices that make sense on paper but don't feel right.
- Best exercise: value card / card sort
- Duration: 30–60 minutes (individual or in pairs)
- Result: a top five core values plus a concrete test action for the coming week
- Suitable for: solo reflection, coaching session, small group of up to 8 people
Table of Contents
- Which core values exercise fits your situation?
- What do you need to set up the session properly?
- How do you carry out the card sort exercise step by step?
- What alternative formats are there besides the card sort?
- Which questions help you deepen values for real?
- What do you do with the identified core values after the session?
- How do you facilitate the exercise as a coach, even when it gets difficult?
- Why do these exercises work? The rationale
- Printable values list and card instructions
- Key insights
- Why the method only really works when you follow up consistently
- Exantur helps you keep track of exercises and follow-up
- Recommended resources for further exploration
Which core values exercise fits your situation?
Not every context calls for the same format. Three exercises cover most situations:
- Value card / card sort (30–60 min, solo or in pairs): the standard for individual coaching. A coach guides the coachee through a set of 50–80 cards. Fast, tangible, and easy to document. It also works fine as a standalone exercise without a coach.
- Life list (45–75 min, solo or individual reflection): the coachee writes down ten to fifteen moments when they felt truly themselves, or the exact opposite. From those moments you distill together which values were present or absent. Suitable for people who struggle with abstract concepts and prefer to work from concrete memories.
- Values walk / Bateson method (45–60 min, outdoors or in movement): the coachee literally walks toward different values laid out on the ground. By taking up space, the body activates a different layer than sitting at a table. Active formats such as the Bateson method are particularly effective for coachees who are stuck in their heads or feel resistance to classic conversations.
Solo: life list or card sort with printable cards. Pairs: card sort with the coach as facilitator. Small group: values walk or card sort per person followed by shared reflection.
What do you need to set up the session properly?
Good preparation saves time and prevents you from improvising halfway through. Here's what you need:
- Materials: 50–80 value cards (printed on sturdy paper, A6 size or smaller), markers, sticky notes for jotting things down, a timer, and a flip chart or whiteboard for group work. Digital alternative: Miro or a shared document with cards as text blocks.
- Location: a quiet room with a large table or floor space to spread out cards. For the walking variant: a park or quiet outdoor area. Avoid busy office environments.
- Participants: solo works best with 1 coachee and 1 coach. Groups of 4–8 people are manageable; above 8, the reflection phase becomes too fragmented.
- Timing per phase:
- Introduction and explanation: 5 minutes
- First card selection: 15 minutes
- Clustering and grouping: 10 minutes
- Prioritizing to a top five: 10 minutes
- Reflection and validation: 15 minutes
Pro tip: Print the cards on two different colors of paper: one color for values the coachee recognizes as "mine," another for values that "should" be theirs. That second pile is gold for the conversation about social desirability.
How do you carry out the card sort exercise step by step?
This is the facilitator script you can use right away. Timings are guidelines, not a straitjacket.
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Introduction (5 min): Lay the cards face down on the table or hand them over as a stack. Say: "Today we're going to look for what really drives you, not what you think it should be. There are no right or wrong answers. Trust your first feeling." Emphasize that values are not goals: a goal you achieve, a value you live.
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First card selection (15 min): The coachee spreads out all the cards and places them in three groups: "fits me," "maybe," and "doesn't fit me." Facilitator prompt: "What do you feel when you say this word out loud?" Don't intervene when they hesitate. Let the coachee move the cards themselves.
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Clustering (10 min): Take the "fits me" pile. Ask the coachee to group cards with similar meaning together. Prompt: "Which of these cards actually say the same thing for you?" This reveals how the coachee experiences values, not how a dictionary defines them.
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Prioritizing to a top five (10 min): From the clusters, the coachee picks the most essential value per cluster. Prompt: "If you could only take one of these two with you tomorrow, which would it be?" Repeat until you're left with five cards. NLP elicitation techniques such as ranking and "chunking up" help here to reach the deepest layer.
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Reflection and validation (15 min): Lay the five cards out in front of the coachee. Ask, for each value: "When did you last really live this value? And when did you consciously distance yourself from it?" Write down the answers verbatim. Close with: "What concrete action can you take this week that aligns with these values?"
Recording template: for each value, note the name, the coachee's personal definition, a recent example, and the agreed test action. That way you have a usable document for follow-up after the session.
Pro tip: You recognize socially desirable answers when the coachee chooses a value with their head, not their gut. Ask: "How would you feel if you fully let go of this value for a month?" A genuine core value produces a physical reaction. A socially desirable choice produces a shrug.
What alternative formats are there besides the card sort?
Sometimes the card sort isn't the right fit. Here are four alternatives with brief implementation notes:
| Format | Duration | Best for | Point of attention |
|---|---|---|---|
| Visualization exercise | 20–30 min | Coachees who struggle with abstract language | Follow up with: "Which word fits what you saw?" |
| Tree metaphor | 30–45 min | Visual thinkers, young people, creative contexts | Roots = core values, trunk = behavior, branches = goals |
| Life list | 45–75 min | Solo reflection, people who think in stories | For each moment ask: "What was present or absent?" |
| Values walk (Bateson) | 45–60 min | Coachees with resistance or high emotional intensity | Works best outdoors; ask about physical reactions |
- Visualization: guide the coachee through a short guided relaxation (5 min) and ask them to imagine a moment when they were fully themselves. Then: "Which words describe what you felt?" Use those words as a starting point for the values list.
- Tree metaphor: the coachee draws a tree. The roots are the deepest driving forces, the trunk is daily behavior, the branches are ambitions. For each root, ask: "What must always be present, even when everything is going against you?"
- Life list: write down 10–15 moments, positive and negative. Analyze together which values were present during the positive moments and which were missing during the negative ones.
- Values walk: lay cards on the floor or ground. The coachee walks toward a value, pauses beside it, and describes what happens in the body. Effective for people who are stuck in their heads.
Which questions help you deepen values for real?
Good questions are the difference between a superficial list and genuine self-knowledge. Use these prompts in phases: the first group for exploration, the second for validation.
Initial exploration:
- What do you find truly important in life for yourself, apart from what others expect?
- What do you put energy into without anyone asking you to?
- Which value can't you imagine your life without?
- When did you last feel truly yourself? What was present then?
- What do you stand for, even when it costs you something?
Deeper validation:
- What does this value concretely mean to you, in your own words?
- What would your life look like if you fully lived this value?
- What is the downside of this value? When does it work against you?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how strongly do you currently live this value? What score would you give?
- How do you arrive at that score? What would be different at one point higher?
Detecting inconsistency and social desirability:
- Behavior under pressure reveals more than stated preferences. Ask: "What do you do when you're under pressure? Which value wins out then?"
- "If you fully let go of this value for a month, what would change?"
- "When did you consciously make a choice that went against this value? How did that feel?"
Only bring in the validation questions after the coachee has chosen an initial top five. Validating too early undermines trust in their own choice.
What do you do with the identified core values after the session?
Insight without follow-up evaporates. Without translation into concrete actions, values remain abstract concepts that the coachee has forgotten within two weeks.
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Validate authenticity: have the coachee carry the top five with them for a week. Ask at the next session: "Which value did you really feel this week? Which stayed abstract?" A value that didn't show up anywhere during the week deserves reconsideration.
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Link values to micro-actions: for each value, the coachee formulates a small, concrete action for the coming week. Not "be more creative," but "draw for an hour tomorrow with no purpose." Small actions test whether a value truly lives.
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Use a follow-up template: for each value, note the name, the personal definition, the agreed action, and the evaluation date. At every subsequent session, discuss at least two values from the top five.
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Recalibrate periodically: values change with life stage and context. A top five from three years ago isn't necessarily still current. Schedule a short recalibration session of 20–30 minutes every six months.
- Link values to existing goals: ask "Which of your current goals aligns with this value?" Goals that don't connect to anything are the first candidates to scrap or reformulate.
- Keep values and goals separate: a goal is finite and measurable, a value is directional and continuous. Don't confuse them in the conversation.
- Use values in decision-making: when in doubt about a choice, ask "Which option best fits my top three values?"
How do you facilitate the exercise as a coach, even when it gets difficult?
Most coachees get stuck in one of three places: they can't choose, they choose what they think they should choose, or they get emotional. Here's how to deal with that.
Creating safety at the start:
Say it literally: "There are no right or wrong answers. I'm not going to judge you on what you choose. Trust your first feeling, not your reasoning." That single sentence already takes off a lot of pressure.
Red flags and how to name them:
- Coachee quickly picks a "nice" list without hesitation (honesty, integrity, responsibility): probe further. "When did you last really feel this value, not just think it?"
- Coachee can't choose and stays stuck: give permission to hesitate. "Which of these two cards gives you a warmer feeling when you hold them?"
- Coachee becomes emotional: don't stop the exercise right away. Give space. Say: "That's allowed to be here. What's coming up?" Emotion around a value is often a sign that you're touching the core.
Online adaptations:
Use Miro or a shared digital board with text blocks as cards. Let the coachee drag the blocks themselves. Breakout rooms work well for group work: each participant first works solo, then the group shares in the plenary space. The ZKM method emphasizes that the coach takes on a facilitating role: minimal interpretation, maximum space for the coachee.
Pro tip: During the session, note down literally what the coachee says, not what you hear. Use the coachee's own words in the follow-up. "Last time you called freedom 'room to breathe'" hits much deeper than a generic definition.
Why do these exercises work? The rationale
Values exercises are not soft nonsense. There's a solid methodological foundation underneath.
"Values make the 'why' visible. When daily actions and goals aren't connected to deeper values, coachees can experience burnout symptoms. Reconnecting with values helps people find their direction again." — ICM, on working with values in coaching
The ZKM method (Self-Confrontation Method) offers a protocol-based approach: from formulating value areas to affect valuations and validation periods. This makes it usable for complex cases where many latent layers are at play. ZKM focuses on self-agency: the coach listens, mirrors, and asks deepening questions. The content comes entirely from the coachee.
Experts at ICM and NONONS confirm that reconnecting with values can reduce burnout symptoms. The link between values and well-being at work is also documented in broader well-being contexts. Validation in practice, by deliberately seeking out situations that test a value, is the only way to verify authenticity. A value that only exists in a safe session but disappears the moment pressure is applied is not a core value.
Printable values list and card instructions
Use this list to make cards or as a starting point for a digital session. Organize them into categories so the coachee doesn't get overwhelmed.
Personal growth: self-development, self-knowledge, wisdom, curiosity, learning, creativity, challenge, courage
Relationships and connection: love, friendship, loyalty, cooperation, empathy, caring, connectedness, trust
Integrity and character: honesty, sincerity, justice, responsibility, integrity, humility, dedication
Freedom and autonomy: freedom, independence, flexibility, adventure, spontaneity, authenticity
Achievement and impact: effectiveness, achievement orientation, leadership, entrepreneurship, ambition, influence
Calm and balance: inner peace, harmony, relaxation, simplicity, stability, security
Meaning: meaning, spirituality, contribution, sustainability, beauty, inspiration
Other: humor, fun, health, knowledge, optimism, tolerance, openness
| Setting | Recommendation |
|---|---|
| Paper size | A6 size or smaller for easy handling |
| Paper type | sturdy; laminating optional |
| Digital alternative | Miro board, Google Slides, or Canva with draggable blocks |
| Number of cards | 50–80 for a full session |
Cultural note: values are context-dependent. "Loyalty" means something different to someone with a collectivist background than to someone who centers individual autonomy. Always ask for the personal definition, never the dictionary meaning. Also leave room for personal values that aren't on the list.
How to avoid socially desirable choices: lay the cards face down and have the coachee turn them over one by one. The first reaction, before thinking begins, is the most reliable.
Key insights
The most reliable core values exercise in coaching is the card sort: in 30 to 60 minutes it produces a top five that is immediately translated into a concrete test action.
| Point | Details |
|---|---|
| Card sort as the standard | The value card exercise produces a top five core values plus a test action in 30–60 minutes. |
| Validation in practice | Only behavior under pressure proves whether a value is real; test each value with a micro-action within a week. |
| Periodic recalibration | Values change with life stage; schedule a short recalibration session of 20–30 minutes every six months. |
| Facilitator stance | Minimal interpretation by the coach, maximum input from the coachee; use the coachee's own words in follow-up. |
| Exantur for follow-up | Exantur helps coaches record value sessions, follow-up actions, and check-ins in a structured way within a GDPR-compliant environment. |
Why the method only really works when you follow up consistently
The coaches I speak with agree: the session itself is rarely the problem. The card sort almost always works. What does go wrong is what happens afterward. Or rather: what doesn't happen.
A coachee leaves the session with five cards and a warm feeling. Two weeks later that feeling is gone, and the cards are lying somewhere in a drawer. Not because the exercise was bad, but because there was no bridge to the week that followed. No concrete action, no check-in, no moment when the values came up again.
That's exactly why the validation phase weighs more heavily than the elicitation phase. A value you can only name in a safe session but that disappears the moment life gets busy is not a core value. It's an aspiration. And aspirations are fine, but they don't steer behavior.
The method described here is deliberately built so that follow-up isn't an optional step but a mandatory part of the exercise. The test action at the end of the session, the recalibration after a week, the follow-up template: these aren't extras. That's where the value of the exercise lies.
Exantur helps you keep track of exercises and follow-up
After a values exercise, you don't want the results to get lost in scattered notes or an email you find again when it's too late. Exantur is built for exactly this moment: the session is over, the top five is on the table, and now the real work begins.
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With Exantur, you record the core values, personal definitions, and agreed test actions directly in structured session notes that are searchable and always sit within the context of the coachee's journey. Through check-ins between sessions, you track whether the micro-actions are actually being carried out. The coachee portal gives the coachee themselves insight into goals and progress, which increases engagement between sessions. Everything runs on EU hosting and is GDPR-by-design: confidential values documentation is kept secure. Check out the reporting and privacy features or request a demo via exantur.com.
Recommended resources for further exploration
- NONONS: taking charge starts with knowing what matters to you — practical explanation of values as a compass; a good starting point for coaches who want to understand the motivational basis.
- ICM: working with values in coaching — an overview of how to make coachees aware of their values; useful for elicitation and burnout prevention.
- NLP Institute: finding core values as a coach — concrete elicitation methods including ranking, complex equivalents, and chunking up; a deep dive for coaches who want to integrate NLP techniques.
- NCGN: ZKM method (SPEC-ZKM-2015) — a protocol-based approach for complex cases; from value areas to affect valuations and validation periods.
- BPO training courses: coaching from values — practical advice on translating values into concrete behavior; essential for the follow-up phase.
- Ayo Senang: determining personal values — an accessible explanation of recalibration and the right list length; good for coachees working independently.
- Mentaal Onderhoud: practical coaching exercise for discovering core values — an extensive self-guided exercise with reflection questions; usable as a homework assignment for coachees.
- Exantur: writing session notes — a practical guide to structurally recording observations, insights, and action points after values exercises.