ENNL
Menu
← All articles

Core values exercise for coaches: ready-to-use script

Core values exercise for coaches: ready-to-use script

Coach en coachee gaan samen naar buiten om te werken aan een oefening rondom persoonlijke waarden.

In brief:

  • The value-card exercise is the fastest and most reliable way to discover core values in coaching. Coachees choose their top five values and test them with short actions that give direction to their behaviour. Coaches can easily facilitate the exercise with materials, structure and follow-up for lasting results.

The fastest and most reliable way to discover core values in a coaching session is the value-card exercise, also known as a card sort. You need 30–60 minutes, a set of 40–60 value cards and a coachee who is willing to look honestly. The result: a personal top 5 of core values plus a concrete test action for the following week.

  • What you need: printed or digital value cards, a quiet space, a timer
  • Duration: 30 minutes for a quick version, 60 minutes for full reflection
  • Result: a list of five core values, described in the coachee's own words, plus an initial micro-action to test them Values function as an inner compass: they give direction to choices and behaviour, even when goals are not yet clear. Without that connection, coachees sometimes achieve goals that feel empty in hindsight.

Table of contents

Which core values exercise suits your situation?

Three formats you can use straight away, each for a different context.

  • Value cards / card sort (30–60 min, solo or in pairs): the coach lays out cards, the coachee sorts and prioritises them. Fast, concrete and suitable for most coaching contexts. Works well as the starting point of a programme.
  • Life list / life line (45–90 min, solo or individual reflection): the coachee writes down ten to fifteen key moments from their life. Which values were visible in those moments? Which were painfully absent? Suitable for people who struggle with abstract lists and prefer to work through stories.
  • Values walk (45–60 min, outdoors, in pairs): based on the Bateson method, in which the coachee literally walks while reflecting out loud. Movement lowers the threshold for honest answers. Effective with coachees who have a lot of cognitive resistance or a sedentary job.

Pro tip: Choose the walk if a coachee keeps giving "correct" answers in the first two sessions. Movement and an informal setting break that pattern faster than an extra round of questions.

What do you need to set up the session well?

Materials

  • 40–60 value cards (printed on A6, or digital via a tool such as Miro or a simple spreadsheet)
  • Markers for making notes on the cards
  • Timer (phone or kitchen timer)
  • Flip chart or large sheet of paper for clustering
  • Notepad for the coach: record the top 5 and the coachee's description

Location and setup

  • Preferred: a quiet room with a large table where cards can be spread out
  • Alternative: outside on a bench or while walking (then use digital cards on a phone or tablet)
  • Online: use Miro, Mural or a shared Google Slides document with draggable cards

Participants and roles

  • Solo: the coachee works independently, the coach asks questions and takes notes
  • Pair: coach and coachee at the table together
  • Small group (max. 4): each participant sorts individually, followed by a short exchange. Each participant settles on a personal top five core values.

Schedule per phase

Phase Duration
Introduction and explanation 5 minutes
Card selection (first round) 15 minutes
Clustering and combining 10 minutes
Prioritising down to a top 5 of core values 10 minutes
Reflection and validation 15 minutes

Step-by-step script for the value-card exercise

You can use this script directly. The prompts are worded so they don't lead the coachee.

  1. Introduction (5 min). Explain what core values are and what they are not. Say literally: "Core values are not goals you can tick off. They are guiding principles that determine how you want to live and work, even when it's hard." Ask the coachee not to choose what "sounds good", but what genuinely rings true.

  2. First selection (15 min). Lay all the cards on the table or open the digital board. Ask the coachee to place each card into three piles: "not relevant", "somewhat relevant" and "very relevant". Don't explain the values themselves. Let the coachee work in silence.

  3. Clustering (10 min). Take the "very relevant" pile and ask: "Do you see cards that belong together or that basically say the same thing for you?" Let the coachee create the clusters themselves. Note down the clusters without interpreting.

  4. Prioritising down to a top 5 (10 min). Ask the coachee to choose five values from the clusters that are most defining. If they hesitate between two, ask: "If you had to make a difficult decision tomorrow and could lean on only one of these two, which one would it be?"

  5. Reflection and validation (15 min). For each value ask: "What does this value mean to you, in your own words?" Write down the description. Then ask: "When did you last make a choice that was truly in line with this value? And when did you not?" Close with a micro-action: "What is a small step you can take this week to deliberately act on this value?"

Recording template: for each value, note the name, the coachee's personal description and the planned micro-action. Consistently record a list of five core values per coachee for optimal follow-up. Pro tip: You can recognise socially desirable answers by a coachee choosing values that "sound good" but who cannot name a personal story or concrete example. In that case ask: "When have you genuinely acted on this, even when it cost you something?" If the answer stays vague, the value is probably a norm, not a genuine core value.

Bureau met coachingsschema en aantekeningen

Which alternative formats can you use?

Sometimes the card sort doesn't fit. Here are four compact alternatives with brief instructions.

Format Duration Suitable for When more effective
Visualisation exercise 20–30 min Coachees who can abstract well Resistance to lists or cards
Tree metaphor 30–45 min Visually oriented coachees Emotionally charged themes
Life list 45–60 min Narratively oriented coachees Difficulty with abstract value terms
Values walk (Bateson) 45–60 min Coachees with cognitive resistance Highly emotional or stuck situations
  • Visualisation: ask the coachee to close their eyes and imagine a moment when they felt fully themselves. Have them describe that moment. Then ask: "Which words describe what felt right for you in that moment?" Those words are value candidates.
  • Tree metaphor: the coachee draws a tree. The roots are the deepest motivations, the trunk is what they express day to day, the branches are the areas they invest energy in. Then discuss which values are visible in each part.
  • Life list: the coachee writes down ten key moments, positive and negative. For each moment you ask: "What was at stake for you here?" and "Which value was honoured or violated here?"
  • Values walk: walk alongside the coachee and ask an open question every five minutes. NLP elicitation techniques such as chunking up ("What is even more important to you than that?") help move from concrete preferences to deeper values.

Which questions help you truly deepen values?

Good reflection prompts make the difference between a superficial list and genuine self-knowledge. Use them in phases: the first half during the initial exploration, the second half during deeper validation.

Initial exploration:

  • What do you genuinely find important in life for yourself, regardless of what others expect?
  • What do you want to spend more time and energy on?
  • Which value can you not imagine your life without?
  • When did you feel most yourself? What made it so?
  • What do you stand for, even when it costs you something?

Deeper validation:

  • What does this value mean to you, in your own words?
  • What does your life look like if you base your choices entirely on this value?
  • What is the downside of this value? When does it work against you?
  • If you rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how strongly you currently live by this value, what number would you give? What would it take to reach one point higher?
  • When did you last make a decision that went against this value? What did that do to you?

Detecting inconsistency and social desirability:

  • Behaviour under pressure reveals more about genuine values than stated preferences. Ask: "How do you behave when you're busy and have to choose something? Which value wins out then?"
  • Ask about a moment when two values clashed: "What did you choose then? What does that say about which value weighs more heavily?"
  • If a coachee cannot illustrate a value with a concrete example, it is probably a norm or an ideal, not a core value.

What do you do with the core values you find?

Insight without follow-up evaporates. Here is a concrete plan for the steps after the exercise.

  1. Validate authenticity. Ask the coachee to carry the top 5 with them for a week and note down when a value was visible in their behaviour, and when it was not. Discuss this in the next session.

  2. Link values to goals. A value is not a goal. "Freedom" is a value; "working as a self-employed person within two years" is a goal that flows from that value. Make this distinction explicit, because coachees regularly confuse them.

  3. Design micro-actions. Without translation into concrete behaviour, values remain abstract. Have the coachee come up with a small weekly action for each of the five chosen core values: something they deliberately do or refrain from in order to test the value.

  4. Set up a follow-up template. For each of the five values, note: name, personal description, planned action, observation after a week. Discuss this in the next session as a starting point.

  5. Recalibrate periodically. Values change with life stage and context. A list of five core values now is not for ever. Advise coachees to repeat the exercise annually or after a major life event.

Additionally:

  • Use values as a touchstone when making decisions: "Which option best aligns with my top 3 values?"
  • Link values to tracking goals in your coaching programme so that progress stays visible
  • Flag when a coachee consistently acts against a stated value: that is a breakthrough moment

How do you facilitate the exercise well as a coach?

What you say and what you leave out

Begin the session with a safety frame: "There are no right or wrong answers. I'm not looking for what you think you should value, but for what genuinely rings true for you." Repeat this if a coachee hesitates or looks to you for confirmation.

Allow silence. Many coaches fill silence too quickly with a new question. Give the coachee 10–15 seconds after a reflection question. In the SCM (self-confrontation method) methodology the coachee's input is maximised and the coach's interpretation minimised. That principle applies here too.

Red flags and blockages

  • Coachee chooses too quickly: they run through the cards without feeling. Slow them down: "Put this card down for a moment and say out loud what the word brings up for you."
  • Coachee can't choose: too many values feel "all important". Use the comparison question: "If you could take only one of these two with you tomorrow, which one is it?"
  • Emotional breakthrough: a coachee becomes emotional at a particular value. Allow this, name it calmly: "I can see this touches something. Would you like to pause with it for a moment?" Don't continue the exercise until the coachee indicates they're ready.

Adaptations for online sessions

  • Use Miro or a shared Google Slides document with draggable cards
  • Send the value list 24 hours in advance so the coachee can reflect
  • Plan a shorter session (45 min) and send the reflection questions afterwards as an assignment via the coachee portal

Pro tip: In online sessions coachees miss the physical act of sorting cards. Ask them to read the cards aloud before moving them. That small act activates the same reflective process as physically holding a card.

Why do these exercises work? A brief rationale

Core values exercises are not stand-alone activities. They are based on a number of well-founded principles from coaching practice.

Values make the "why" behind behaviour visible. When daily actions and goals are not connected to deeper values, coachees can experience fatigue or emptiness, even after achieving successes. Reconnecting with values helps restore motivation and direction. (ICM / NONONS)

The self-confrontation method (SCM) offers a protocol-based approach: from formulating value areas to affective ratings and validation periods. That layering makes SCM suitable for complex cases where many latent meanings are at play. For most coaching contexts, the card sort is a more accessible starting point that respects the same principle of self-directed work.

Experts emphasise the cyclical nature of values work: validation in practice, by deliberately seeking out situations that test a value, is the only way to verify authenticity. A list is a hypothesis. Behaviour is the proof.

Een coach en een cliënt gaan samen in gesprek over wat zij belangrijk vinden, tijdens een sessie in de praktijkruimte.

The link with burnout prevention at work is also relevant for coaches who work with organisations: employees who act contrary to their core values run an increased risk of exhaustion.

List of common core values and printing instructions

Alphabetical value list by category

Relationships and connection Commitment, collegiality, empathy, equality, harmony, intimacy, loyalty, sincerity, collaboration, tolerance, friendship, caring

Growth and development Adventure, creativity, knowledge, learning, curiosity, entrepreneurship, personal growth, challenge, wisdom, self-development, self-knowledge

Integrity and character Modesty, discipline, authenticity, honesty, integrity, independence, open-mindedness, openness, fairness, responsibility

Wellbeing and balance Simplicity, health, inner peace, relaxation, enjoyment, beauty, spirituality, freedom, security, meaning

Achievement and impact Decisiveness, sustainability, effectiveness, efficiency, precision, performance orientation, success, dedication

Printing instructions

  • Print cards in A6 format (148 x 105 mm), preferably on 200 gsm paper so they feel sturdy
  • Laminate for reuse, or print on coloured paper per category for visual overview
  • Digital alternative: copy the list into Miro or a Google Slides deck with one card per slide

Cultural note: values such as "harmony" or "modesty" carry different connotations in some cultural contexts than in a Dutch setting. Always ask for the personal meaning, never for the definition.

Key insights

The most reliable way to discover core values in coaching is the value-card exercise: concrete, ready to use and completed with a test action that verifies authenticity.

Point Details
Values are a compass, not a goal A value gives direction; a goal is finite. Make this distinction explicit in every session.
Test authenticity through behaviour Ask about behaviour under pressure, not about preferences. Genuine values are visible when they cost something.
Use the facilitator script Work with fixed prompts and timings so the session runs in a structured way and results are comparable.
Recalibrate periodically Values change with life stage. Advise coachees to repeat the exercise annually or after a major life event.
Exantur for follow-up Record each coachee's top five core values, descriptions and micro-actions in Exantur so that follow-up and progress stay visible between sessions.

Why the simplest exercise is often the most powerful

There is a tendency in the coaching world to confuse complexity with depth. Coaches learn elaborate methods, read about SCM protocols and Bateson levels, and then still end up sitting with a coachee who simply doesn't know what they want. The card sort works precisely because it is so accessible. You ask someone to sort cards, not to analyse themselves. That difference in framing makes all the difference.

What I see in practice: coachees who get stuck on abstract questions ("What are your values?") start talking the moment they hold a card. The physical object provides something to hold on to. The silence that follows, while someone turns a card over, is often more valuable than ten minutes of conversation.

The moment an exercise truly takes effect is not during the session. It's three days later, when a coachee makes a decision and thinks: "This doesn't match what I wrote down." That is when a value becomes a compass instead of a list.

Exantur helps you keep follow-up organised

After a values exercise you have valuable information: a top 5, personal descriptions, micro-actions. That information deserves a fixed home, not a loose note you rediscover in the third session.

[IMAGE:cta_image]

Exantur is coaching-practice software that lets you keep session notes, goals and between-session check-ins in a structured way. You record the top 5 core values as session documentation, link goals to them and track how the micro-actions are progressing via the coachee portal. Coachees can see their own progress and complete check-ins without you having to send an email each time.

All data is stored on EU servers in Frankfurt. Exantur supports coaches in GDPR-aware data processing, although using software does not automatically make a practice fully GDPR-compliant. For coaches who take confidentiality seriously, that is a relevant choice.

Explore the reporting and documentation features or start a free 14-day trial via exantur.com.

Recommended sources and further reading

  • NONONS: Taking charge starts with knowing what's important to you — Practical explanation of values as a compass; a good starting point for coaches who want to explain the concept to coachees.
  • ICM: Working with values in coaching — Overview of how to make coachees aware of their values; useful for the link with burnout prevention.
  • NLP Instituut: Finding core values as a coach — Concrete elicitation techniques such as chunking up and ranking; further depth for coaches who want to integrate NLP methods.
  • BPO Opleidingen: Coaching from values — Emphasis on translating into behaviour; read this if you want to understand why follow-up is indispensable.
  • NCGN: SCM methodology (SPEC-ZKM-2015) — Protocol-based approach for complex cases; suitable for coaches who want to work more deeply with value areas and affective ratings.
  • Ayo Senang: Determining personal values — Practical advice on the right list length and periodically recalibrating values.
  • Mentaal Onderhoud: Practical coaching exercise on core values — Extensive self-study exercise with reflection questions; usable as a homework assignment for coachees.
  • Exantur: Writing session notes — Practical guide to systematically recording observations, insights and action points after a values exercise.

Frequently asked questions

What are core values in coaching?

Core values are the deepest motivations that determine how someone wants to live and work. In coaching they act as a compass when setting goals and making decisions.

How many core values should someone have?

A top 5 of core values is the most workable. Fewer than three provides too little direction; more than five dilutes focus and makes prioritising harder. Coaches therefore recommend a list of five core values as the optimal outcome of the exercise.

How do you distinguish a genuine core value from a norm or ideal?

Ask about concrete behaviour: when has the coachee acted on this value, even when it cost them something? If they cannot name an example, it is probably a norm or a socially desirable choice.

What are commonly cited core values?

Commonly cited core values include honesty, freedom, responsibility, creativity, loyalty, collaboration, growth and inner peace. A personal list of five core values is the standard outcome; which values someone chooses is always personal.

How do you use core values after the exercise?

Link each value to a concrete micro-action for the coming week and discuss the experiences in the next session. This way values become not a list, but a guideline for daily behaviour.

Recommended