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Preparing a coaching session: a practical guide for coaches

Preparing a coaching session: a practical guide for coaches

The coach is preparing the session in the coaching room

A good coaching session does not begin the moment your coachee walks in or logs on. It begins fifteen to thirty minutes earlier. That is when you read the previous notes, check which action points were agreed, and ask yourself where this person stands now. In this guide you will read how to prepare a session step by step. You will also learn what you can ask your coachee beforehand, which questions to have ready, and how to plan sessions across an entire programme. And all of that without the preparation becoming a script that closes down the conversation.

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TL;DR

  • Preparing means knowing where the coachee stands, not deciding where the conversation should go. The coachee stays in charge.
  • A fixed routine of 15 to 30 minutes works: read the previous notes, review action points and check-ins, revisit the goal, and choose one or two open questions.
  • Ask your coachee to answer three short questions a few days in advance. That way the session already starts with direction.
  • Plan a programme in phases: intake, working phase, and closing. Each phase calls for different preparation.
  • Keep notes and preparations in a secure place, not scattered across email, chat apps, and loose files. That is more pleasant for you and better for your coachee's privacy.

Table of contents

Why preparation makes the session better

Many coaches know the feeling: you open the session, the coachee talks about a difficult week, and only halfway through do you remember that an important decision was made three weeks ago. You could have known. It was in your notes, but you had not read them.

Good preparation prevents that. It helps you have three things in order:

  • Context. What was discussed last time? What insights came up? What is going on in the coachee's life or work?
  • Agreements. Which action points did the coachee take on? What came of them?
  • Direction. How does this session relate to the larger goal of the programme?

In its core competencies for coaches, the International Coaching Federation (ICF) mentions, among other things, establishing and maintaining agreements: determining or reconfirming together with the coachee what he or she wants to achieve in this session. Preparation helps with that. You know what was going on, so at the start you can ask specifically whether that theme is still the most important one.

Preparation is therefore not a plan you push through. The opposite is true. Those who know the context do not have to search and have more room to listen with curiosity. The ICF also describes this as being present as a coach: not "playing" the coach, but being the coach. With a calm mind at the start of the session, that comes more easily.

How to prepare a session in six steps

This routine takes 15 to 30 minutes. Ideally do it at a fixed moment, for example the hour before the session or the morning of the day itself.

  1. Read the notes from the previous session. Look not only at what was said, but also at what stood out. What observations did you have? What breakthrough or insight came up? What remained unaddressed? If you organise your notes into fixed types, such as observations, insights, breakthroughs, and action points, you can find this again in a minute. Our guide on writing session notes explains how to go about it.
  2. Review the action points and check-ins. Which actions were agreed? Did the coachee complete a check-in in the meantime or let you know anything? Accountability, meaning the degree to which someone keeps their own commitments, is often the start of a good conversation. An action that did not succeed sometimes says more than one that did.
  3. Revisit the goal of the programme. Where did the coachee want to go at the start? Is there progress? Is the goal still the same, or has it shifted? A brief look at the progress helps you see the session within the larger whole.
  4. Choose one or two open questions. Not a list of ten. One question to begin with, and one you keep in reserve for when the conversation stalls. For example: "What do you want to take with you when you leave later?"
  5. Arrange the practical matters. Does the video link work? Do you have the exercise, assessment, or document ready that you want to use? For an in-person session: is the room quiet, is the phone off? For online coaching, the ICF offers tips for trust and safety at a distance, such as deliberately paying attention to what you cannot see.
  6. Free yourself up. Take two minutes to let go of the previous appointment. Write down whatever is still on your mind from an earlier conversation or from your own day. That way you come in with a clear mind, with attention for this one person.

An example from practice

Suppose you are coaching a team leader who wants to delegate more. In the previous session she agreed to hand over two tasks to a colleague. In her check-in she writes that one task worked out, but that she ended up doing the second one herself again. Your preparation takes ten minutes. You read your note ("feels guilty when she hands something off, especially with client contact"), you see the action point and the check-in, and you choose an opening question: "What happened at the moment you picked up that second task yourself after all?" You know what it could be about, but she decides whether that is really what it is about.

From session note to opening question and conversation

What your coachee can prepare beforehand

A session becomes stronger when the coachee reflects too. Not with homework that feels heavy, but with a few short questions. Send them two to three days before the appointment, or have them filled in as a fixed check-in.

Three questions that almost always work:

  • What has happened since the previous session that is important for your goal?
  • What went well of what you had set out to do, and what did not?
  • What do you most want to talk about this time?

For a first session you can use different questions. For example: what do you want to see differently in six months' time? How will you know the coaching programme has succeeded? What have you already tried?

Pay attention to how you receive the answers. Coachees sometimes write things that are highly personal. An answer sent via an ordinary email or chat app easily ends up in a mailbox or on a phone you have no control over. A secure environment, such as a dedicated portal for the coachee, is then a better place. You can read what that looks like on our page about the portal for coachees.

Questions to have ready during the session

You do not have to work through a questionnaire. But it helps to have a few questions ready for each phase of the conversation. Many coaches use the GROW model for this: Goal, Reality, Options, and Will (what you are going to do). On the BP Opleidingen website you will find an extensive list of example questions for each step of the GROW model. A short selection:

Phase Purpose of the phase Example question
Goal Establishing the focus for this session What do you want to have achieved by the end of this conversation?
Reality Getting clear on what is going on now What exactly is happening now, and what is your part in it?
Options Making room for new options What would you do if you knew for certain it could not fail?
Will Making agreements concrete What are you going to do, when, and how will you know it has worked?

Two tips for these questions. Ask one question at a time, and wait. Silence is often the moment the coachee sees something new. And summarise regularly in the coachee's words, not yours. That way you quickly notice whether you have listened well.

Close every session with a concrete action point that the coachee formulates themselves. That action point is immediately the start of your preparation for next time. You can read more about following up on commitments between sessions in our guide on improving accountability in coaching.

Planning sessions across an entire programme

Preparation is not only about the next session. It helps to sketch out the whole programme in advance, so you know what each session should deliver. A programme usually has three phases, and each phase calls for different preparation.

Phase What you prepare for What you have ready
Intake and start Getting the question, goal, and expectations clear Intake form, possibly an assessment such as the Wheel of Life or DISC, agreements on confidentiality
Working phase Progress on the goal, patterns, obstacles Notes from previous sessions, action points, check-ins
Closing Looking back and looking ahead Overview of goals and progress, key insights, a final report

At the intake you also make agreements about how you handle confidential information. The professional association NOBCO mentions, among other things, contracting and confidentiality in the International Code of Ethics for coaches. These are themes on which a professional coach makes clear agreements.

Put the dates of the sessions in your calendar as early as possible. Leave enough time between two sessions, so the coachee can practise what was discussed. In your own calendar, keep at least a quarter of an hour free between two coachees to reflect, make notes, and prepare the next session. Do you want to set up a programme with fixed modules? Then our guide on managing coaching programmes will help.

Preparing without loose files: mind the privacy

When you prepare a session, you open up sensitive information: notes about someone's work, relationships, doubts, and goals. Where is that data kept? For many coaches, the answer is: everywhere and nowhere. In a notebook, a text file, a spreadsheet of action points, emails with answers, or a chat conversation with a check-in.

That is inconvenient, because you have to search all over again each time. And it is a risk to your coachee's privacy. The GDPR, the General Data Protection Regulation, is the European law that governs how you handle personal data. According to the Dutch Data Protection Authority you must secure personal data properly. Security here is tailored work: you decide for yourself which measures suit the risks in your practice.

Do you use software in which another company stores your coachees' data for you? Then you are required to conclude a data processing agreement with that company. It sets out what the company does with the data and how it secures it. Are you unsure about your own situation, for example because you work with health information or coach on behalf of an employer? Then put your question to a privacy lawyer or to the Dutch Data Protection Authority. You will find a first overview of what you need to arrange as a coach in our GDPR checklist for coaches.

A practical rule of thumb: keep only what you need for the coaching goal, and keep everything about a coachee together in a secure place. Then you prepare faster and run less risk.

How we view preparation

We built Exantur around the coaching relationship, not around a general client list. You notice this most strongly during preparation. Before a session, a coach has no use for yet another folder or yet another tab. A coach wants to see in a few minutes: what was going on, what was agreed, what has happened since.

That is why we capture notes as observations, insights, breakthroughs, and action points. So you don't read back a long wall of text, but immediately see what matters. That is why goals, progress, and check-ins sit with the same coachee and the same programme. And that is why a coachee can prepare the session themselves in their own portal, so you have already read the answers before you begin.

We also see a pitfall. The better prepared you are, the greater the chance that you already think you know what the conversation should be about. Use your preparation as background, not as an agenda. Start every session with the question of what the coachee wants today, even if you think you know the answer. Sometimes it is something quite different, and that is exactly what coaching is about.

Martijn

How Exantur helps with your preparation

In Exantur your session notes, action points, goals, check-ins, intake forms, and assessments sit with the right coachee and the right programme. Your coachee prepares the session in their own portal. Would you like some help with that? An optional AI assistant turns your own notes into a session preparation, a summary, or a final report. This is done with your own Anthropic key, and no data by which anyone could identify your coachee is sent to the model. The data is held in the EU, in Frankfurt, and a data processing agreement is available. The Mini subscription costs €19 per month or €190 per year. See all subscriptions and prices and try Exantur free first.

Frequently asked questions

How much time should I take to prepare a coaching session?

For an ongoing programme, 15 to 30 minutes is usually enough, provided your notes are well organised. A first session or a closing session often takes more time, because you want to see the whole picture. More important than the duration is that you do it the same way every time.

Should my coachee prepare as well?

It does help. With three short questions beforehand, the session starts with direction: what has happened, what went well, and what the coachee wants to talk about. Keep it light, so it doesn't feel like extra work.

What are good questions to open a coaching session with?

Good opening questions are open and put the coachee in charge. For example: "What would you like to talk about today?", "What has changed since last time?" or "What do you want to have achieved by the end of this conversation?" Avoid questions that already contain the answer.

May I send and receive preparation questions by email?

You may, but it is not the safest choice. Coachees' answers are often personal, and email is hard to secure and clean up properly. A secure portal where the answers are added to the coachee's file protects privacy better and saves you searching.

Sources

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